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011.lyx
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#LyX 2.1 created this file. For more info see http://www.lyx.org/
\lyxformat 474
\begin_document
\begin_header
\textclass memoir
\use_default_options true
\master hpmor_volume1_16x23.lyx
\begin_modules
initials
\end_modules
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\index Index
\shortcut idx
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\end_index
\paperwidth 8.25in
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\leftmargin 0.5in
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\end_header
\begin_body
\begin_layout Chapter
\emph on
Omake Files 1, 2, 3
\end_layout
\begin_layout Section*
OMAKE FILES #1: 72 Hours to Victory
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
(A.k.a.
“What Happens If You Change Harry But Leave All Other Characters Constant”)
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Dumbledore peered over his desk at young Harry, twinkling in a kindly sort
of way.
The boy had come to him with a terribly intense look on his childish face
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
Dumbledore hoped that whatever this matter was, it wasn't
\emph on
too
\emph default
serious.
Harry was far too young for his life trials to be starting already.
“What was it you wished to speak to me about, Harry?”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres leaned forward in his chair, smiling grimly.
“Headmaster, I got a sharp pain in my scar during the Sorting Feast.
Considering how and where I got this scar, it didn't seem like the sort
of thing I should just ignore.
I thought at first it was because of Professor Snape, but I followed the
Baconian experimental method which is to find the conditions for both the
presence and the absence of the phenomenon, and I've determined that my
scar hurts if and only if I'm facing the back of Professor Quirrell's head,
whatever's under his turban.
While it
\emph on
could
\emph default
be something more innocuous, I think we should provisionally assume the
worst, that it's You-Know-Who
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
wait, don't look so horrified, this is actually a priceless opportunity
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Section*
OMAKE FILES #2: I Ain't Afraid of Dark Lords
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
This was the original version of Chapter 9.
It was replaced because
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
while many readers did enjoy it
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
many other readers had
\emph default
massive
\emph on
allergies to songs in fanfics, for reasons that should not much need belaboring.
I didn't want to drive readers away before they got to Ch.
10.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
Lee Jordan is the fellow prankster of Fred and George (in canon).
“Lee Jordan” had sounded like a Muggleborn name to me, implying that he
would be capable of instructing Fred and George on a tune that Harry would
know.
This was not as obvious to some readers as it was to your author.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Quote
\align center
\begin_inset Graphics
filename fleur.png
scale 50
\end_inset
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Draco went to Slytherin, and Harry breathed a small sigh of relief.
It had
\emph on
seemed
\emph default
like a sure thing, but you never did know what tiny event might upset the
course of your master plan.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
They were approaching the Ps now…
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
And over at the Gryffindor table, there was a whispered conversation.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
“What if he doesn't like it?”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
“He's got no right to not like it
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
“
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
not after the prank he played on
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
“
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
Neville Longbottom, his name was
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
“
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
he's as fair a fair target now as fair can be.”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
“All right.
Just make sure you don't forget your parts.”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
“We've rehearsed it often enough
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
“
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
over the last three hours.”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
And Minerva McGonagall, from where she stood at the speaker's podium of
the Head Table, looked down at the next name on her list.
\emph on
Please don't let him be a Gryffindor please don't let him be a Gryffindor
OH PLEASE don't let him be a Gryffindor…
\emph default
She took a deep breath, and called:
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
“Potter, Harry!”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
There was a sudden silence in the hall as all whispered conversation stopped.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
A silence broken by a horrible buzzing noise that modulated and changed
in hideous mockery of musical melody.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Minerva's head jerked around, shocked, and identified the buzzing noise
as coming from the Gryffindor direction, where They were
\emph on
standing on top of the table
\emph default
blowing into some kind of tiny devices held against Their lips.
Her hand started to drop to her wand, to
\emph on
Silencio
\emph default
the lot of Them, but another sound stopped her.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Dumbledore was chuckling.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Minerva's eyes went back to Harry Potter, who had only just started to step
out of line before he'd stumbled and halted.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Then the young boy began to walk again, moving his legs in odd sweeping
motions, and waving his arms back and forth and snapping his fingers, in
synchrony with Their music.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\align center
\emph on
To the tune of “Ghostbusters”
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\align center
\emph on
(As performed on the kazoo by Fred and George Weasley,
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
and sung by Lee Jordan.)
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\align center
\emph on
.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\align center
\emph on
There's a Dark Lord near?
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
Got no need to fear
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
Who you gonna call?
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
“HARRY POTTER!” shouted Lee Jordan, and the Weasley twins performed a triumphant
chorus.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\align center
\emph on
With a Killing Curse?
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
Well it could be worse.
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
Who you gonna call?
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
“HARRY POTTER!” There were a lot more voices shouting it this time.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
The Weasley Horrors went off into an extended wailing, now accompanied by
some of the older Muggleborns, who had produced their own tiny devices,
Transfigured out of the school silverware no doubt.
As their music reached its anticlimax, Harry Potter shouted:
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
I ain't afraid of Dark Lords!
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
There was cheering then, especially from the Gryffindor table, and more
students produced their own antimusical instruments.
The hideous buzzings redoubled in volume and built to another awful crescendo:
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
I ain't afraid of Dark Lords!
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Minerva glanced to both sides of the Head Table, afraid to look but with
all too good a notion of what she would see.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Trelawney frantically fanning herself, Flitwick looking on with curiosity,
Hagrid clapping along to the music, Sprout looking severe, and Quirrell
gazing at the boy with sardonic amusement.
Directly to her left, Dumbledore humming along; and directly to her right,
Snape gripping his empty wine goblet, white-knuckled, so hard that the
thick silver was slowly deforming.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\align center
\emph on
Dark robes and a mask?
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
Impossible task?
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
Who you gonna call?
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
HARRY POTTER!
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\align center
\emph on
Giant Fire-Ape?
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
Old bat in a cape?
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
Who you gonna call?
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
HARRY POTTER!
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\begin_inset Float figure
wide false
sideways false
status collapsed
\begin_layout Plain Layout
\align center
\begin_inset Graphics
filename 011-old_bat_in_a_cape_snape_by_dinosaurusgede.png
lyxscale 30
\end_inset
\end_layout
\begin_layout Plain Layout
\align center
\begin_inset Box Frameless
position "t"
hor_pos "c"
has_inner_box 1
inner_pos "t"
use_parbox 0
use_makebox 0
width "80col%"
special "none"
height "1in"
height_special "totalheight"
status collapsed
\begin_layout Plain Layout
\size small
\begin_inset Quotes eld
\end_inset
\SpecialChar \ldots{}
\emph on
Old bat in a cape?\SpecialChar \ldots{}
\begin_inset Quotes erd
\end_inset
\end_layout
\end_inset
\end_layout
\end_inset
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Minerva's lips set in a white line.
She would have words with Them about that last verse, if They thought she
was powerless because it was the first day of school and Gryffindor had
no points to take away.
If They didn't care about detentions then she would find something else.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Then, with a sudden gasp of horror, she looked in Snape's direction,
\emph on
surely
\emph default
he realised the Potter boy must have no idea who that was talking about
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Snape's face had gone beyond rage into a kind of pleasant indifference.
A faint smile played about his lips.
He was looking in the direction of Harry Potter, not the Gryffindor table,
and his hands held the crumpled remains of a former wine goblet…
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
And Harry walked forwards, sweeping his arms and legs through the motions
of the Ghostbusters dance, keeping a smile on his face.
It was a great setup, had caught him completely by surprise.
The least he could do was play along and not ruin it all.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Everyone was cheering him.
It made him feel all warm inside and sort of awful at the same time.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
They were cheering him for a job he'd done when he was one year old.
A job he hadn't really finished.
Somewhere, somehow, the Dark Lord was still alive.
Would they have been cheering quite so hard, if they knew that?
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
But the Dark Lord's power
\emph on
had
\emph default
been broken once.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
And Harry would protect them again.
If there was in fact a prophecy and that was what it said.
Well, actually regardless of what any darn prophecy said.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
All those people believing in him and cheering him
\begin_inset ERT
status open
\begin_layout Plain Layout
--
\end_layout
\end_inset
Harry couldn't stand to let that be false.
To flash and fade like so many other child prodigies.
To be a disappointment.
To fail to live up to his reputation as a symbol of the Light, never mind
\emph on
how
\emph default
he'd gotten it.
He would absolutely, positively, no matter how long it took and even if
it killed him, fulfill their expectations.
And then go on to
\emph on
exceed
\emph default
those expectations, so that people wondered, looking back, that they had
once asked so little of him.
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
And he shouted out the lie that he'd invented because it scanned well and
the song called for it:
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\align center
\emph on
I ain't afraid of Dark Lords!
\begin_inset Newline newline
\end_inset
I ain't afraid of Dark Lords!
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
Harry took his last steps toward the Sorting Hat as the music ended.
He swept a bow to the Order of Chaos at the Gryffindor table, and then
turned and swept another bow to the other side of the hall, and waited
for the applause and giggling to die away…
\end_layout
\begin_layout Section*
OMAKE FILES #3: Alternate Endings of `Self-Awareness'
\end_layout
\begin_layout Standard
\emph on
The offer to tell the whole plot to anyone who guessed what `has never happened
before' spurred a
\emph default
lot
\emph on
of interesting attempts.
The first omake below is taken directly from my personal favorite answer,
by Meteoricshipyards.
The second is based on Kazuma's suggestion for what “has never happened
before”, the third on a combination of yoyoente and dougal74, the fourth
on wolf550e's review of chapter 10.
The one that starts with `K', and the one just above that, are from DarkHeart81.
The others are my own.
Anyone who wants to pick up one of my own ideas and run with them, particularly
the last one, is welcome to do so.
And before I get 100 indignant complaints, yes, I am well aware that the
legislative body of the UK is the House of Commons in Parliament.
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…In the back of his mind, he wondered if the Sorting Hat was genuinely
\emph on
conscious
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in the sense of being aware of its own awareness, and if so, whether it
was satisfied with only getting to talk to eleven-year-olds once per year.
Its song had implied so:
\emph on
Oh, I'm the Sorting Hat and I'm okay, I sleep all year and I work one day…
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When there was once more silence in the room, Harry sat on the stool and
\emph on
carefully
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placed onto his head the 800-year-old telepathic artefact of forgotten
magic.
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Thinking, just as hard as he could:
\emph on
Don't Sort me yet! I have questions I need to ask you! Have I ever been
Obliviated? Did you Sort the Dark Lord when he was a child and can you
tell me about his weaknesses? Can you tell me why I got the brother wand
to the Dark Lord's? Is the Dark Lord's ghost bound to my scar and is that
why I get so angry sometimes? Those are the most important questions, but
if you've got another moment can you tell me anything about how to rediscover
the lost magics that created you?
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And the Sorting Hat answered, “
\emph on
No.
Yes.
No.
No.
Yes and no, next time don't ask double questions.
No.
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” and out loud, “RAVENCLAW!”
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“Oh, dear.
This has never happened before…”
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What?
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\emph on
“I'm allergic to your hair shampoo
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--
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”
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And then the Sorting Hat sneezed, with a mighty “A-CHOO!” that echoed around
the Great Hall.
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“Well!” Dumbledore cried jovially.
“It seems Harry Potter has been sorted into the new House of Achoo! McGonagall,
you can serve as the Head of House Achoo.
You'd better hurry up on making arrangements for Achoo's curriculum and
classes, tomorrow is the first day!”
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“But, but, but,” stammered McGonagall, her mind in nearly complete disarray,
“who will be Head of House Gryffindor?” It was all she could think of,
she
\emph on
had
\emph default
to stop this somehow…
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Dumbledore put a finger to his cheek, looking thoughtful.
“Snape.”
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Snape's screech of protest nearly drowned out McGonagall's, “Then who will
be Head of
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Slytherin?
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”
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“Hagrid.”
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Don't Sort me yet! I have questions I need to ask you! Have I ever been
Obliviated? Did you Sort the Dark Lord when he was a child and can you
tell me about his weaknesses? Can you tell me why I got the brother wand
to the Dark Lord's? Is the Dark Lord's ghost bound to my scar and is that
why I get so angry sometimes? Those are the most important questions, but
if you've got another moment can you tell me anything about how to rediscover
the lost magics that created you?
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There was a brief pause.
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Hello? Do I need to repeat the questions?
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The Sorting Hat screamed, an awful high-pitched sound that echoed through
the Great Hall and caused most of the students to clap their hands over
their ears.
With a desperate yowl, it leapt off Harry Potter's head and bounded across
the floor, pushing itself along with its brim, and made it halfway to the
Head Table before it exploded.
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“SLYTHERIN!”
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Seeing the look of horror on Harry Potter's face, Fred Weasley thought faster
than he ever had in his life.
In a single motion he whipped out his wand, whispered
\emph on
“Silencio!”
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and then “
\emph on
Changemyvoiceio!”
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and finally “
\emph on
Ventriliquo!
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”
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“Just kidding!” said Fred Weasley.
“GRYFFINDOR!”
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