diff --git a/STALKER 12/code/modules/food&drinks/drinks/drinks.dm b/STALKER 12/code/modules/food&drinks/drinks/drinks.dm
index b00ac3c..fb497fd 100644
--- a/STALKER 12/code/modules/food&drinks/drinks/drinks.dm	
+++ b/STALKER 12/code/modules/food&drinks/drinks/drinks.dm	
@@ -46,6 +46,7 @@
 	var/fraction = min(gulp_size/reagents.total_volume, 1)
 	reagents.reaction(M, INGEST, fraction)
 	reagents.trans_to(M, gulp_size)
+	M.bladder += reagents.total_volume * 2	//For pissing
 	playsound(M.loc,'sound/items/drink.ogg', rand(10,50), 1)
 	return 1
 
diff --git a/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/emote.dm b/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/emote.dm
index 118e3f6..685f24f 100644
--- a/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/emote.dm	
+++ b/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/emote.dm	
@@ -317,6 +317,14 @@
 				message = "<B>[src]</B> yawns."
 				m_type = 2
 
+		if ("shit","shits")
+			handle_shit()
+			m_type = 1
+
+		if ("piss","pisses")
+			handle_piss()
+			m_type = 1
+
 		if("wag","wags")
 			if(dna && dna.species && (("tail_lizard" in dna.species.mutant_bodyparts) || ((dna.features["tail_human"] != "None") && !("waggingtail_human" in dna.species.mutant_bodyparts))))
 				message = "<B>[src]</B> wags \his tail."
diff --git a/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species.dm b/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species.dm
index eb66d53..b1e2111 100644
--- a/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species.dm	
+++ b/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species.dm	
@@ -643,6 +643,7 @@
 				H.Jitter(5)
 			hunger_rate = 3 * HUNGER_FACTOR
 		H.nutrition = max (0, H.nutrition - hunger_rate)
+		H.bowels += H.nutrition * 0.003	//For pooping
 
 	if (H.nutrition > NUTRITION_LEVEL_FULL)
 		if(H.overeatduration < 600) //capped so people don't take forever to unfat
diff --git a/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/shit_piss.dm b/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/shit_piss.dm
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..82981a9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/STALKER 12/code/modules/mob/shit_piss.dm	
@@ -0,0 +1,403 @@
+/*#####SHIT AND PISS#####
+##Ok there's a lot of stupid shit here. Literally, but let me explain a bit why I put this here.
+##I feel like poo and pee add a degree of autistic realism that you wouldn't otherwise get. And I'm autistic about that kind of thing.
+##This file contains all the reagents, decals, objects and life procs. These procs are used in human/life.dm and human/emote.dm
+##Have some shitty fun. - Matt
+*/
+
+//Counters for the end of the round.
+var/global/times_came = 0
+var/global/shit_left = 0
+var/global/piss_left = 0
+var/global/deaths_in_space = 0
+var/global/total_deaths = 0
+var/global/teeth_lost = 0
+
+//####DEFINES####
+
+/mob
+	var/bladder = 0
+	var/bowels = 0
+
+//#####DECALS#####
+/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo
+	name = "poo stain"
+	desc = "Well that stinks."
+	density = 0
+	anchored = 1
+	layer = 2
+	icon = 'icons/effects/pooeffect.dmi'
+	icon_state = "floor1"
+	random_icon_states = list("floor1", "floor2", "floor3", "floor4", "floor5", "floor6", "floor7", "floor8")
+	var/dried = 0
+
+
+/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo/New()
+	icon = 'icons/effects/pooeffect.dmi'
+	icon_state = pick(src.random_icon_states)
+	for(var/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo/shit in src.loc)
+		if(shit != src)
+			qdel(shit)
+	spawn(6000)
+		dried = 1
+		name = "dried poo stain"
+		desc = "It's a dried poo stain..."
+
+
+/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo/tracks
+	icon_state = "tracks"
+	random_icon_states = null
+
+/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo/drip
+	name = "drips of poo"
+	desc = "It's brown."
+	density = 0
+	anchored = 1
+	layer = 2
+	icon = 'icons/effects/pooeffect.dmi'
+	icon_state = "drip1"
+	random_icon_states = list("drip1", "drip2", "drip3", "drip4", "drip5")
+
+//This proc is really deprecated.
+/*/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo/proc/streak(var/list/directions)
+	spawn (0)
+		var/direction = pick(directions)
+		for (var/i = 0, i < pick(1, 200; 2, 150; 3, 50; 4), i++)
+			sleep(3)
+			if (i > 0)
+				new /obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo(src.loc)
+			if (step_to(src, get_step(src, direction), 0))
+				break
+*/
+
+/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo/Crossed(AM as mob|obj, var/forceslip = 0)
+	if (istype(AM, /mob/living/carbon) && src.dried == 0)
+		var/mob/living/carbon/M = AM
+		if (M.m_intent == "walk")
+			return
+
+		if(prob(5))
+			M.slip("poo")
+
+//These aren't needed for now.
+///obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo/tracks/Crossed(AM as mob|obj)
+//	return
+
+//obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo/drip/Crossed(AM as mob|obj)
+//	return
+
+/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/urine
+	name = "urine stain"
+	desc = "Someone couldn't hold it.."
+	density = 0
+	anchored = 1
+	layer = 2
+	icon = 'icons/effects/pooeffect.dmi'
+	icon_state = "pee1"
+	random_icon_states = list("pee1", "pee2", "pee3")
+	var/dried = 0
+
+/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/urine/Crossed(AM as mob|obj)
+	if (istype(AM, /mob/living/carbon))
+		var/mob/living/carbon/M =	AM
+		if ((ishuman(M) && istype(M:shoes, /obj/item/clothing/shoes/galoshes)) || M.m_intent == "walk")
+			return
+
+		if((!dried) && prob(5))
+			M.slip("urine")
+
+/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/urine/New()
+	..()
+	icon_state = pick(random_icon_states)
+	//spawn(10) src.reagents.add_reagent("urine",5)
+	for(var/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/urine/piss in src.loc)
+		if(piss != src)
+			qdel(piss)
+
+	spawn(800)
+		dried = 1
+		name = "dried urine stain"
+		desc = "That's a dried crusty urine stain. Fucking janitors."
+
+
+
+/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/cum
+	name = "cum"
+	desc = "It's pie cream from a cream pie. Or not..."
+	density = 0
+	layer = 2
+	icon = 'icons/obj/cum.dmi'
+	blood_DNA = list()
+	anchored = 1
+	random_icon_states = list("cum1", "cum3", "cum4", "cum5", "cum6", "cum7", "cum8", "cum9", "cum10", "cum11", "cum12")
+
+
+/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/cum/New()
+	..()
+	icon_state = pick(random_icon_states)
+	for(var/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/cum/jizz in src.loc)
+		if(jizz != src)
+			qdel(jizz)
+
+
+//#####REAGENTS#####
+
+//SHIT
+/datum/reagent/poo
+	name = "poo"
+	id = "poo"
+	description = "It's poo."
+	reagent_state = LIQUID
+	color = "#643200"
+
+
+/datum/reagent/poo/on_mob_life(var/mob/living/M)
+	if(!M)
+		M = holder.my_atom
+
+	M.adjustToxLoss(1)
+	holder.remove_reagent(src.id, 0.2)
+	..()
+	return
+
+//TO MAKE add_poo() PROC
+/*			reaction_mob(var/mob/M, var/method=TOUCH, var/volume)
+		src = null
+		if(istype(M, /mob/living/carbon/human) && method==TOUCH)
+			if(M:wear_suit) M:wear_suit.add_poo()
+			if(M:w_uniform) M:w_uniform.add_poo()
+			if(M:shoes) M:shoes.add_poo()
+			if(M:gloves) M:gloves.add_poo()
+			if(M:head) M:head.add_poo()
+		//if(method==INGEST)
+		//	if(prob(20))
+			//	M.contract_disease(new /datum/disease/gastric_ejections)
+			//	holder.add_reagent("gastricejections", 1)
+			//	M:toxloss += 0.1
+			//	holder.remove_reagent(src.id, 0.2)
+*/
+
+/datum/reagent/poo/reaction_turf(var/turf/T)
+	src = null
+	if(!istype(T, /turf/space))
+		new /obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo(T)
+
+//URINE
+/datum/reagent/urine
+	name = "urine"
+	id = "urine"
+	description = "It's pee."
+	reagent_state = LIQUID
+	color = COLOR_YELLOW
+
+/datum/reagent/urine/reaction_turf(var/turf/T)
+	src = null
+	if(!istype(T, /turf/space))
+		new /obj/effect/decal/cleanable/urine(T)
+
+//SEMEN
+/datum/reagent/semen
+	name = "semen"
+	id = "semen"
+	description = "It's semen."
+	reagent_state = LIQUID
+	color = COLOR_WHITE
+
+/datum/reagents/proc/reaction_turf(var/turf/target)
+	if(!target || !istype(target))
+		return
+
+/datum/reagent/semen/reaction_turf(var/turf/T)
+	src = null
+	if(!istype(T, /turf/space))
+		new /obj/effect/decal/cleanable/cum(T)
+
+/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/poo
+	name = "poo"
+	desc = "A chocolately surprise!"
+	icon = 'icons/obj/poop.dmi'
+	icon_state = "poop2"
+	item_state = "poop"
+
+/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/poo/New()
+	..()
+	icon_state = pick("poop1", "poop2", "poop3", "poop4", "poop5", "poop6", "poop7")
+	reagents.add_reagent("poo", 10)
+	bitesize = 3
+
+/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/poo/throw_impact(atom/hit_atom)
+	//if(prob(50)) //this is so we actually have a chance of recovering some from disposal.
+	//	return
+	playsound(src.loc, "sound/effects/squishy.ogg", 40, 1)
+	var/turf/T = src.loc
+	if(!istype(T, /turf/space))
+		new /obj/effect/decal/cleanable/poo(T)
+	//qdel(src) THIS IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.
+	..()
+
+//#####BOTTLES#####
+
+//PISS
+/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/glass/bottle/urine
+	name = "urine bottle"
+	desc = "A small bottle. Contains urine."
+	icon = 'icons/obj/chemical.dmi'
+	icon_state = "bottle15"
+
+	New()
+		..()
+		reagents.add_reagent("urine", 30)
+
+
+//#####LIFE PROCS#####
+
+//poo and pee counters. This is called in human/handle_stomach.
+/mob/living/carbon/human/proc/handle_excrement()
+	if(bowels <= 0)
+		bowels = 0
+	if(bladder <= 0)
+		bladder = 0
+
+	if(bowels >= 250)
+		switch(bowels)
+			if(250 to 400)
+				if(prob(5))
+					src << "<b>You need to use the bathroom.</b>"
+					bowels += 15
+			if(400 to 450)
+				if(prob(5))
+					src << "<span class='danger'>You really need to use the restroom!</span>"
+					bowels += 15
+			if(450 to 500)
+				if(prob(2))
+					handle_shit()
+				else if(prob(10))
+					src << "<span class='danger'>You're about to shit yourself!</span>"
+					bowels += 25
+			if(500 to 550)
+				if(prob(15))
+					handle_shit()
+				else if(prob(30))
+					src << "<span class='danger'>OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO SHIT!</span>"
+					bowels += 35
+			if(550 to INFINITY)
+				handle_shit()
+
+	if(bladder >= 100)//Your bladder is smaller than your colon
+		switch(bladder)
+			if(100 to 250)
+				if(prob(5))
+					src << "<b>You need to use the bathroom.</b>"
+					bladder += 15
+			if(250 to 400)
+				if(prob(5))
+					src << "<span class='danger'>You really need to use the restroom!</span>"
+					bladder += 15
+			if(400 to 500)
+				if(prob(2))
+					handle_piss()
+				else if(prob(10))
+					src << "<span class='danger'>You're about to piss yourself!</span>"
+					bladder += 25
+			if(500 to 550)
+				if(prob(15))
+					handle_piss()
+				else if(prob(30))
+					src << "<span class='danger'>OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO PEE!</span>"
+					bladder += 35
+			if(550 to INFINITY)
+				handle_piss()
+
+//Shitting
+/mob/living/carbon/human/proc/handle_shit()
+	var/message = null
+	if (src.bowels >= 30)
+
+		//Poo in the loo. // yeah i actually don't want to look for toilet objects so for now i'll just comment that section, if anyone wants - go ahead and add some shitters
+		//var/obj/item/trash/konserva/T = locate() in src.loc
+		//var/obj/item/trash/konserva/shproti/T2 = locate() in src.loc
+		var/mob/living/M = locate() in src.loc
+		//if(T)
+		//	message = "<B>[src]</B> defecates into \the [T]."
+
+		//else if (T2)
+		//	message = "<B>[src]</B> defecates into \the [T2]."
+		//	var/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/poo/V = new/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/poo(src.loc)
+		//	if(reagents)
+		//		reagents.trans_to(V, rand(1,5))
+
+		//	if(T2.CanInsertItem(src)) //attempt to insert the shit into the toilet.
+		//		V.forceMove(T2)
+		//	else
+		//		shit_left++
+
+		if(w_uniform)
+			message = "<B>[src]</B> shits \his pants."
+			reagents.add_reagent("poo", 10)
+
+		//Poo on the face.
+		else if(M != src && M.lying)//Can only shit on them if they're lying down.
+			message = "<span class='danger'><b>[src]</b> shits right on <b>[M]</b>'s face!</span>"
+			M.reagents.add_reagent("poo", 10)
+
+		//Poo on the floor.
+		else
+			message = "<B>[src]</B> [pick("shits", "craps", "poops")]."
+			var/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/poo/V = new/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/poo(src.loc)
+			if(reagents)
+				reagents.trans_to(V, rand(1,5))
+
+			shit_left++//Global var for round end, not how much piss is left.
+
+		playsound(src.loc, 'sound/effects/poo2.ogg', 60, 1)
+		bowels -= rand(60,80)
+
+	else
+		src << "You don't have to."
+		return
+
+	visible_message("[message]")
+
+//Peeing
+/mob/living/carbon/human/proc/handle_piss()
+	var/message = null
+	if (bladder < 30)
+		src << "You don't have to."
+		return
+
+//	var/obj/structure/urinal/U = locate() in src.loc
+//	var/obj/machinery/disposal/toilet/T = locate() in src.loc
+//	var/obj/machinery/disposal/toilet/T2 = locate() in src.loc
+//	var/obj/structure/sink/S = locate() in src.loc
+//	var/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/RC = locate() in src.loc
+//	if((U || S) && gender != FEMALE)//In the urinal or sink.
+//		message = "<B>[src]</B> urinates into [U ? U : S]."
+//		reagents.remove_any(rand(1,8))
+
+//	else if( (T && T.open) || (T2 && T2.open) )//In the toilet.
+//		message = "<B>[src]</B> urinates into [T]."
+//		reagents.remove_any(rand(1,8))
+
+//	else if(RC && (istype(RC,/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/drinks || istype(RC,/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/glass))))
+//		if(RC.is_open_container())
+//			//Inside a beaker, glass, drink, etc.
+//			message = "<B>[src]</B> urinates into [RC]."
+//			var/amount = rand(1,8)
+//			RC.reagents.add_reagent("urine", amount)
+//			if(reagents)
+//				reagents.trans_to(RC, amount)
+
+	if(w_uniform)//In your pants.
+		message = "<B>[src]</B> pisses \his pants."
+
+	else//On the floor.
+		var/turf/TT = src.loc
+		var/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/urine/D = new/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/urine(src.loc)
+		if(reagents)
+			reagents.trans_to(D, rand(1,8))
+		message = "<B>[src]</B> pisses on the [TT.name]."
+		piss_left++//Global var for round end, not how much piss is left.
+
+	bladder -= 50
+	visible_message("[message]")
+
diff --git a/STALKER 12/icons/effects/pooeffect.dmi b/STALKER 12/icons/effects/pooeffect.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7eb0004
Binary files /dev/null and b/STALKER 12/icons/effects/pooeffect.dmi differ
diff --git a/STALKER 12/icons/obj/cum.dmi b/STALKER 12/icons/obj/cum.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..bd174ed
Binary files /dev/null and b/STALKER 12/icons/obj/cum.dmi differ
diff --git a/STALKER 12/icons/obj/poop.dmi b/STALKER 12/icons/obj/poop.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1433cd9
Binary files /dev/null and b/STALKER 12/icons/obj/poop.dmi differ
diff --git a/STALKER 12/sound/effects/poo2.ogg b/STALKER 12/sound/effects/poo2.ogg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..aa72cb8
Binary files /dev/null and b/STALKER 12/sound/effects/poo2.ogg differ
diff --git a/STALKER 12/ss13_stalker.dme b/STALKER 12/ss13_stalker.dme
index dc93184..dcf6ace 100644
--- a/STALKER 12/ss13_stalker.dme	
+++ b/STALKER 12/ss13_stalker.dme	
@@ -1189,6 +1189,7 @@
 #include "code\modules\mob\mob_movement.dm"
 #include "code\modules\mob\mob_transformation_simple.dm"
 #include "code\modules\mob\say.dm"
+#include "code\modules\mob\shit_piss.dm"
 #include "code\modules\mob\transform_procs.dm"
 #include "code\modules\mob\update_icons.dm"
 #include "code\modules\mob\camera\camera.dm"