whiteBase.json

{"text":"Flying sex snakes."},
{"text":"Michelle Obama's arms."},
{"text":"German dungeon porn."},
{"text":"White people."},
{"text":"Getting so angry that you pop a boner."},
{"text":"Tasteful sideboob."},
{"text":"Praying the gay away."},
{"text":"Two midgets shitting into a bucket."},
{"text":"MechaHitler."},
{"text":"Being a motherfucking sorcerer."},
{"text":"A disappointing birthday party."},
{"text":"Puppies!"},
{"text":"A windmill full of corpses."},
{"text":"Guys who don't call."},
{"text":"Racially-biased SAT questions."},
{"text":"Dying."},
{"text":"Steven Hawking talking dirty."},
{"text":"Being on fire."},
{"text":"A lifetime of sadness."},
{"text":"An erection that lasts longer than four hours."},
{"text":"AIDS"},
{"text":"Same-sex ice dancing."},
{"text":"Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook."},
{"text":"The Rapture."},
{"text":"Pterodactyl eggs."},
{"text":"Crippling debt."},
{"text":"Eugenics."},
{"text":"Exchanging pleasantries."},
{"text":"Dying of dysentery."},
{"text":"Roofies."},
{"text":"Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon."},
{"text":"The forbidden fruit."},
{"text":"Republicans."},
{"text":"The Big Bang."},
{"text":"Anal beads."},
{"text":"Amputees."},
{"text":"Men."},
{"text":"Surprise sex!"},
{"text":"Kim Jong-il."},
{"text":"Concealing a boner"},
{"text":"Agriculture."},
{"text":"Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards."},
{"text":"Making a pouty face."},
{"text":"A salty surprise."},
{"text":"The Jews."},
{"text":"Charisma."},
{"text":"YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS."},
{"text":"Panda sex."},
{"text":"Taking off your shirt."},
{"text":"A drive-by shooting."},
{"text":"Ronald Reagan."},
{"text":"Morgan Freeman's voice."},
{"text":"Breaking out into song and dance."},
{"text":"Jewish fraternities."},
{"text":"Dead babies."},
{"text":"Masturbation."},
{"text":"Hormone injections."},
{"text":"All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99."},
{"text":"Incest."},
{"text":"Scalping."},
{"text":"Soup that is too hot."},
{"text":"The Übermensch."},
{"text":"Nazis."},
{"text":"Tom Cruise."},
{"text":"Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis."},
{"text":"Edible underpants."},
{"text":"The Hustle."},
{"text":"A Super Soaker™ full of cat pee."},
{"text":"Figgy pudding."},
{"text":"Object permanence."},
{"text":"Consultants."},
{"text":"Intelligent design."},
{"text":"Nocturnal emissions."},
{"text":"Uppercuts."},
{"text":"Being marginalized."},
{"text":"The profoundly handicapped."},
{"text":"Obesity."},
{"text":"Chutzpah."},
{"text":"Unfathomable stupidity."},
{"text":"Repression."},
{"text":"Attitude."},
{"text":"Passable transvestites."},
{"text":"Party poopers."},
{"text":"The American Dream"},
{"text":"Child beauty pageants."},
{"text":"Puberty."},
{"text":"Testicular torsion."},
{"text":"The folly of man."},
{"text":"Nickelback."},
{"text":"Swooping."},
{"text":"Goats eating cans."},
{"text":"The KKK."},
{"text":"Kamikaze pilots."},
{"text":"Horrifying laser hair removal accidents."},
{"text":"Adderall™."},
{"text":"A look-see."},
{"text":"Doing the right thing."},
{"text":"The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge."},
{"text":"Lactation."},
{"text":"Pabst Blue Ribbon."},
{"text":"Powerful thighs."},
{"text":"Saxophone solos."},
{"text":"The gays."},
{"text":"A middle-aged man on roller skates."},
{"text":"A foul mouth."},
{"text":"The thing that electrocutes your abs."},
{"text":"Heteronormativity."},
{"text":"Cuddling."},
{"text":"Coat hanger abortions."},
{"text":"A big hoopla about nothing."},
{"text":"Boogers."},
{"text":"A hot mess."},
{"text":"Raptor attacks."},
{"text":"My collection of high-tech sex toys."},
{"text":"Fear itself."},
{"text":"Bees?"},
{"text":"Getting drunk on mouthwash."},
{"text":"Sniffing glue."},
{"text":"Oversized lollipops."},
{"text":"An icepick lobotomy."},
{"text":"Being rich."},
{"text":"Friends with benefits."},
{"text":"Teaching a robot to love."},
{"text":"Women's suffrage."},
{"text":"Me time."},
{"text":"The heart of a child."},
{"text":"Smallpox blankets."},
{"text":"The clitoris."},
{"text":"John Wilkes Booth."},
{"text":"The glass ceiling."},
{"text":"Sarah Palin."},
{"text":"Sexy pillow fights."},
{"text":"Yeast."},
{"text":"Full frontal nudity."},
{"text":"Parting the Red Sea."},
{"text":"A Bop It™."},
{"text":"Michael Jackson."},
{"text":"Team-building exercises."},
{"text":"Harry Potter erotica."},
{"text":"Authentic Mexican cuisine."},
{"text":"Frolicking."},
{"text":"Sexting."},
{"text":"Grandma."},
{"text":"Not giving a shit about the Third World."},
{"text":"Licking things to claim them as your own."},
{"text":"Genghis Khan."},
{"text":"The hardworking Mexican."},
{"text":"RoboCop."},
{"text":"My relationship status."},
{"text":"Scrubbing under the folds."},
{"text":"Porn Stars."},
{"text":"Horse meat."},
{"text":"Sunshine and rainbows."},
{"text":"Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor."},
{"text":"Barack Obama."},
{"text":"Spontaneous human combustion."},
{"text":"Natural selection."},
{"text":"Mouth herpes."},
{"text":"Flash flooding."},
{"text":"Goblins."},
{"text":"A monkey smoking a cigar."},
{"text":"Spectacular abs."},
{"text":"A good sniff."},
{"text":"Wiping her butt."},
{"text":"The Three-Fifths compromise."},
{"text":"Pedophiles."},
{"text":"Doin' it in the butt."},
{"text":"Being fabulous."},
{"text":"Mathletes."},
{"text":"Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry."},
{"text":"Nipple blades."},
{"text":"An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist."},
{"text":"A bag of magic beans."},
{"text":"Vigorous jazz hands."},
{"text":"A defective condom."},
{"text":"Skeletor."},
{"text":"Vikings."},
{"text":"Leaving an awkward voicemail."},
{"text":"Teenage pregnancy."},
{"text":"Dead parents."},
{"text":"Hot cheese."},
{"text":"My sex life."},
{"text":"A mopey zoo lion."},
{"text":"Assless chaps."},
{"text":"Riding off into the sunset."},
{"text":"Lance Armstrong's missing testicle."},
{"text":"Sweet, sweet vengeance."},
{"text":"Genital piercings."},
{"text":"Keg stands."},
{"text":"Darth Vader."},
{"text":"Viagra®."},
{"text":"Necrophilia."},
{"text":"A really cool hat."},
{"text":"Toni Morrison's vagina."},
{"text":"An Oedipus complex."},
{"text":"The Tempur-Pedic® Swedish Sleep System™."},
{"text":"Preteens."},
{"text":"Dick fingers."},
{"text":"A cooler full of organs."},
{"text":"Shapeshifters."},
{"text":"The Care Bear Stare."},
{"text":"Erectile dysfunction."},
{"text":"Keanu Reeves."},
{"text":"The Virginia Tech Massacre."},
{"text":"The Underground Railroad."},
{"text":"The chronic."},
{"text":"Queefing."},
{"text":"Heartwarming orphans."},
{"text":"A thermonuclear detonation."},
{"text":"Cheating in the Special Olympics."},
{"text":"Tangled Slinkys."},
{"text":"A moment of silence."},
{"text":"Civilian casualties."},
{"text":"Catapults."},
{"text":"Sharing needles."},
{"text":"Ethnic cleansing."},
{"text":"Emotions."},
{"text":"Children on leashes."},
{"text":"Balls."},
{"text":"Homeless people."},
{"text":"Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale."},
{"text":"Old-people smell."},
{"text":"Farting and walking away."},
{"text":"The inevitable heat death of the universe."},
{"text":"The violation of our most basic human rights."},
{"text":"Fingering."},
{"text":"The placenta."},
{"text":"The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr."},
{"text":"Leprosy."},
{"text":"Sperm whales."},
{"text":"Multiple stab wounds."},
{"text":"Flightless birds."},
{"text":"Grave robbing."},
{"text":"Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine®."},
{"text":"Oompa-Loompas."},
{"text":"A murder most foul."},
{"text":"Tentacle porn."},
{"text":"Daddy issues."},
{"text":"Bill Nye the Science Guy."},
{"text":"Peeing a little bit."},
{"text":"The miracle of childbirth."},
{"text":"Tweeting."},
{"text":"Another goddamn vampire movie."},
{"text":"Britney Spears at 55."},
{"text":"New Age music."},
{"text":"The Make-A-Wish® Foundation."},
{"text":"Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog."},
{"text":"Active listening."},
{"text":"Nicolas Cage."},
{"text":"72 virgins."},
{"text":"Stranger danger."},
{"text":"Hope."},
{"text":"A gassy antelope."},
{"text":"BATMAN!!!"},
{"text":"Chivalry."},
{"text":"Passing a kidney stone."},
{"text":"Black people."},
{"text":"Natalie Portman."},
{"text":"A mime having a stroke."},
{"text":"Classist undertones."},
{"text":"Sean Penn."},
{"text":"A mating display."},
{"text":"The Holy Bible."},
{"text":"Hot Pockets®."},
{"text":"A sad handjob."},
{"text":"Pulling out."},
{"text":"Serfdom."},
{"text":"Pixelated bukkake."},
{"text":"Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up."},
{"text":"Jew-fros."},
{"text":"Waiting 'til marriage."},
{"text":"Euphoria™ by Calvin Klein."},
{"text":"The World of Warcraft."},
{"text":"Lunchables™."},
{"text":"The Kool-Aid Man."},
{"text":"The Trail of Tears."},
{"text":"Self-loathing."},
{"text":"A falcon with a cap on its head."},
{"text":"Historically black colleges."},
{"text":"Not reciprocating oral sex."},
{"text":"Global warming."},
{"text":"Ghosts."},
{"text":"World peace."},
{"text":"A can of whoop-ass."},
{"text":"The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy."},
{"text":"A zesty breakfast burrito."},
{"text":"Switching to Geico®."},
{"text":"Aaron Burr."},
{"text":"Picking up girls at the abortion clinic."},
{"text":"Land mines."},
{"text":"Former President George W. Bush."},
{"text":"Geese."},
{"text":"Mutually-assured destruction."},
{"text":"College."},
{"text":"Date rape."},
{"text":"Bling."},
{"text":"A gentle caress of the inner thigh."},
{"text":"A time travel paradox."},
{"text":"Seppuku."},
{"text":"Poor life choices."},
{"text":"Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot."},
{"text":"Italians."},
{"text":"GoGurt®."},
{"text":"Finger painting."},
{"text":"Robert Downey, Jr."},
{"text":"My soul."},
{"text":"Smegma."},
{"text":"Embryonic stem cells."},
{"text":"The South."},
{"text":"Christopher Walken."},
{"text":"Gloryholes."},
{"text":"Pretending to care."},
{"text":"Public ridicule."},
{"text":"A tiny horse."},
{"text":"Arnold Schwarzenegger."},
{"text":"A stray pube."},
{"text":"Jerking off into a pool of children's tears."},
{"text":"Child abuse."},
{"text":"Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts."},
{"text":"Menstruation."},
{"text":"A sassy black woman."},
{"text":"Re-gifting."},
{"text":"Penis envy."},
{"text":"A sausage festival."},
{"text":"Getting really high."},
{"text":"Drinking alone."},
{"text":"Too much hair gel."},
{"text":"Hulk Hogan."},
{"text":"Overcompensation."},
{"text":"Foreskin."},
{"text":"Free samples."},
{"text":"Shaquille O'Neal's acting career."},
{"text":"Five-Dollar Footlongs™."},
{"text":"Whipping it out."},
{"text":"A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis."},
{"text":"Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him)."},
{"text":"Half-assed foreplay."},
{"text":"Dental dams."},
{"text":"Being a dick to children."},
{"text":"Famine."},
{"text":"Chainsaws for hands."},
{"text":"A gypsy curse."},
{"text":"AXE Body Spray."},
{"text":"The Force."},
{"text":"Explosions."},
{"text":"Cybernetic enhancements."},
{"text":"Customer service representatives."},
{"text":"White privilege."},
{"text":"Gandhi."},
{"text":"Road head."},
{"text":"God."},
{"text":"Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes."},
{"text":"8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin."},
{"text":"Judge Judy."},
{"text":"The Little Engine That Could."},
{"text":"Altar boys."},
{"text":"Mr. Clean, right behind you."},
{"text":"Vehicular manslaughter."},
{"text":"Dwarf tossing."},
{"text":"Friction."},
{"text":"Lady Gaga."},
{"text":"Scientology."},
{"text":"Justin Bieber."},
{"text":"A death ray."},
{"text":"Vigilante justice."},
{"text":"The Pope."},
{"text":"A sea of troubles."},
{"text":"Alcoholism."},
{"text":"Poor people."},
{"text":"A fetus."},
{"text":"Women in yogurt commercials."},
{"text":"Exactly what you'd expect."},
{"text":"Flesh-eating bacteria."},
{"text":"My genitals."},
{"text":"A balanced breakfast."},
{"text":"Dick Cheney."},
{"text":"Lockjaw."},
{"text":"Natural male enhancement."},
{"text":"Take-backsies."},
{"text":"Winking at old people."},
{"text":"Opposable thumbs."},
{"text":"Flying sex snakes."},
{"text":"Passive-aggressive Post-it notes."},
{"text":"Inappropriate yodeling."},
{"text":"Golden showers."},
{"text":"Racism."},
{"text":"Copping a feel."},
{"text":"Auschwitz."},
{"text":"Elderly Japanese men."},
{"text":"Raping and pillaging."},
{"text":"Kids with ass cancer."},
{"text":"Pictures of boobs."},
{"text":"The homosexual agenda."},
{"text":"A homoerotic volleyball montage."},
{"text":"Sexual tension."},
{"text":"Hurricane Katrina."},
{"text":"Fiery poops."},
{"text":"Science."},
{"text":"Dry heaving."},
{"text":"Cards Against Humanity."},
{"text":"Fancy Feast®."},
{"text":"A bleached asshole."},
{"text":"Lumberjack fantasies."},
{"text":"American Gladiators."},
{"text":"Autocannibalism."},
{"text":"Sean Connery."},
{"text":"William Shatner."},
{"text":"Domino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza."},
{"text":"An asymmetric boob job."},
{"text":"Centaurs."},
{"text":"A micropenis."},
{"text":"Asians who aren't good at math."},
{"text":"The milk man."},
{"text":"Waterboarding."},
{"text":"Wifely duties."},
{"text":"Loose lips."},
{"text":"The Blood of Christ."},
{"text":"Actually taking candy from a baby."},
{"text":"The token minority."},
{"text":"Jibber-jabber."},
{"text":"A brain tumor."},
{"text":"Bingeing and purging."},
{"text":"A clandestine butt scratch."},
{"text":"The Chinese gymnastics team."},
{"text":"Prancing."},
{"text":"The Hamburglar."},
{"text":"Police brutality."},
{"text":"Man meat."},
{"text":"Forgetting the Alamo."},
{"text":"Eating the last known bison."},
{"text":"Crystal meth."},
{"text":"Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars."},
{"text":"My inner demons."},
{"text":"Third base."},
{"text":"Soiling oneself."},
{"text":"Laying an egg."},
{"text":"Giving 110%."},
{"text":"Hot people."},
{"text":"Friendly fire."},
{"text":"Count Chocula."},
{"text":"Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum."},
{"text":"Estrogen."},
{"text":"My vagina."},
{"text":"Kanye West."},
{"text":"A robust mongoloid."},
{"text":"The Donald Trump Seal of Approval™."},
{"text":"The true meaning of Christmas."},
{"text":"Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II."},
{"text":"An honest cop with nothing left to lose."},
{"text":"Feeding Rosie O'Donnell."},
{"text":"The Amish."},
{"text":"The terrorists."},
{"text":"When you fart and a little bit comes out."},
{"text":"Pooping back and forth. Forever."},
{"text":"Friends who eat all the snacks."},
{"text":"Cockfights."},
{"text":"Bitches."},
{"text":"Seduction."}