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The IT Lexicon

8104

(atee-won-oh-for)
To blatantly make something up.

"What port does that app use?"
"Uhh, 8104."


Alpha Male

(al-fuh mayl)
Noun.
See Bryan Watts
He is the Alpha Male.


Camel is camel. Donkey is donkey.

(camel is camel. donkey is donkey)
A physical server is a camel. A virtual server is a donkey.
Camel is camel. Donkey is donkey.


Changing a lightbulb

(a.k.a. Yak Shaving)
Attempting to complete a quick and simple task, but instead having to complete many frustrating dependent tasks.
Inspired by this moment.

I was just trying to change my password and now I'm recovering Active Directory from tape.


Clown-Computing

(kloun kuh m-pyoo-ting)
Over-complicating an architecture to save money, which ends up more costly than a simpler alternative.

Using a Raspberry Pi with a USB capture card and a monitor rather than buying a cheap TV is pretty much Clown-Computing.


Cowboy

(kou-boi)
The person who performs a change to a system in production during production hours without a great deal of communication.

He released that code directly into prod, what a Cowboy.


Double Hack

(duhb-uh l hak)
When "single hacking" has not resolved the issue, on very rare occasions it is permitted to hack it again, resulting in a "Double Hack" (and a working system, 100% of the time. Guaranteed).

  • A notable example of Double Hacking was during The Great SQL-03 Outage of 2015 in which the deceased WS-PR-SQ-003 was Double Hacked and resurrected from the dead, before being Vegas Switched back into Production.

All attempts to hack something back together have failed so far. I'll try Double Hacking it next.


Double Redundant

(duhb-uh l ri-duhn-duh nt)
To implement a set of redundancy on top of existing redundancy that may have the opposite effect of redundancy, no improvement to overall redundancy or very little, with the outcome usually resulting in unnecessary complexity.

  • A notable example of Double Redundant was the RAID'ing of Windows disk at an OS level while all disk were sitting on a shared SAN running RAID.

Why did the disk fail, it was Double Redundant?


Double Redundant

(duhb-uh l ri-duhn-duh nt)
To implement a set of redundancy on top of existing redundancy that may have the opposite effect of redundancy, no improvement to overall redundancy or very little, with the outcome usually resulting in unnecessary complexity.

  • A notable example of Double Redundant was the RAID'ing of Windows disk at an OS level while all disk were sitting on a shared SAN running RAID.

Why did the disk fail, it was Double Redundant?


Double Suck Sensor

(duhb-uh l suh k)
Nial's "patent-pending" distributed file system monitoring method where he puts a file in one end and sucks it out the other end to verify everything is working.

The Double Suck sensor in PRTG is down. Is there something wrong with DFS?


Drinking Bird

(dring-king burd)
A “Drinking Bird” is a rough attempt at automating something; usually little more than the script equivalent of placing a next to the keyboard to press a key to restart something.

  • A notable example was "drinkingbird.ps1"-- the script which detected that the Gateway service had died and then performed an iisreset to revive it. (Roughly every 12 minutes.)

Don't worry about that alarm, Drinking Bird will fix it.


DUN

(de you en)
Completed. Nothing further required. To a superb quality.

What a hero, Lt. Dan got it dun, DUN, again.


Hanoi Switch

(ha-noi swich)
To shift or exchange a system, service or component with another by taking properties of the original and applying them to another completely different resource.
See: Vegas Switch

To make that change it risky, it's a Hanoi Switch.


Hokey Pokey it

(ho-key poh-key it)
The act of putting something into production, then taking it back out simply to test whether it works or what effect it may have on another System.

We should Hokey Pokey it, and if it works we can leave it in place.


Hyper Loop

(hahy-per loop)
The inter-system-ception... Building systems from configuration that will be determined by the system that is being built.


Jigger

(jig-er)
To be have a task delayed by unnecessary arguments against proceeding.

He doesn't want to give me his public key, he thinks I will be able to log in to his account with it. He's jiggering me.


Linux Beard

(li-nux beer-du)
The identification markings of a Linux expert.

He has a big beard. He is definitely pro at Linux.


Point on

(poynt on)
To be relevant, in the zone, nailing it.

This dude is so point on at the moment.


Prodotype

(prod oh tahyp)
TBD TBA Now in Prod.

Lets just try this as a proof of concept.
-30 minutes later-
Deployed to production


Read-only Friday

(reyd-ohn-ly fry-dae)
The philosophy of not making system changes, deploying code or new infrastructure on a Friday. An extremely sensible, in old school shops (non-CI/CD), but lightly adhered to philosophy to limit the risk to Friday beersss or an engineers weekend.

Stop, it's almost the weekend everyone just sit still enough so the servers don't notice us and nothing can go wrong.
It's Friday, read-only.


Rocket

(rok-it)
Any solution that proposes more complexity in design and implementation than is required to build an actual rocket. i.e. A considerable amount of moving parts where any of which failing will cause considerable outage.

The first design principal of our systems is "No rockets".


Shituation

(shit-coo-ey-shuh n)
A situation that has got progressively worse, or was not that tops to start with.

Well, now we find ourselves in a shituation.


SMWW

(es em dubya dubya)
Subject Matter Worlds Worst - someone who is clearly not an expert in the field.

They are not the SME, they're the SMWW.


Sprintly

(sprint-ly)
Done, happening or occurring each sprint cycle.

We need to ensure we create a new ticket on a sprintly basis.


Static Hack

(stat-ik hak)
A hack to solve a problem that, intentionally or unintentionally, is actually well implemented and reliable. Potentially capable of being left in use/production.


SVaaS (Security Vulnerability as a Service)

(si-kyoo r-i-tee ven-er-uh-bih la-tee az ey sur-vis)
A service hosted off premises that handles secure or critical data, that can or has been compromised leaving the users or company vulnerable.

Okta and LastPass are great products if you are looking for a SVaaS.


Timezome Moment

(tahym-zohm moh-muh'nt)
The act of spending an inordinate amount of time troubleshooting an issue and ultimately blaming a software bug. Only to later discover you numptied.

Turns out I misspelled "Timezone", sorry for swearing at you Ansible.


Upgration

(uhp grey-shuh n)
The act of changing both the location of a system or service while at the same time adding functionality or stability. Usually takes the form of a Hanoi Switch.

Moving the database to a new server and an updated version is an Upgration.


Vegas Switch

(vey-guh s swich)
To shift or exchange a system, service or component with another which is identical or very similar. Often performed on live or production systems.
See: Hanoi Switch

Why not just restore a backup and do a Vegas Switch?


Viddlerin'

(Vid-ler-in)
The act of telling two different stories to two different people, causing confusion, mistrust and mayhem for all involved.

I think he's Viddlerin' me.


WTF Network

(duhb-uh l-yoo tee ef net-wurk)
Any unexplained networking phenomena that causes many people to review and re-review but not be able to offer any explanation as to what is happening or where packets are going.
The O.G WTF Network is the network between certain Legacy networks and the newer Polaris 10.0.0/8 networks and is also colloquially known as the Thunderdome Network -- "2 packets enter, 1 packet leaves."

The configuration between networks 201 and 50 is completely fine, I think they are getting stuck in the WTF Network