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advice-dont-wait-to-ask.md

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Don't wait to ask1

You may have been sent this document because you waited to ask a question, such as:

You: Hi
You: Anyone got a second?
You: Quick question.
You: @someone?

In asynchronous messaging, this is similar to calling someone, then putting them on hold after they pick up. If you prompt someone to respond before asking your question, you won't get an answer sooner but are instead asking for someone's attention.

Tip

tl;dr: don't wait to ask your question or wait for someone to respond, but rather write your question immediately.

Not writing your question in the first message causes conflict and problems because:

  • no one may respond, since they can't prioritize your message
  • someone may respond while you won't be there to ask your question
  • someone is prompted to give you their full attention to wait for your question

You may have done this with good intentions, tried to be polite, wanted to ease someone into your question, or introduce yourself before jumping into a request or asking for someone to commit to helping you - like one would in person or on the phone? Your intentions are admirable, but online chats and forums have different etiquette.

By asking to ask, instead of letting someone respond in their own time, you're making them acknowledge your message first, then wait for you to phrase your question, which is lost time for both you and the person responding (and that's frustrating for everyone).

Instead, just ask your question.

If you ask a question rather than asking for attention first, it's much more likely for someone to see your question or problem, and leave a quick reply. In chats, since messages can be read at any time and don't require someone's immediate attention, this makes sure chats stay asynchronous.

If you feel it's rude to simply ask a question, combine your question with an introduction.

You: Hi everyone, I'm <name>! What command do I run to upgrade to the new Expo SDK?

If you ask a question immediately, there's nothing stopping you from combining it with the introduction you originally wanted to write first - like a letter. This not only gives you time to formulate and write about your question or issue before others see it, it also allows you to introduce yourself.

Footnotes

  1. This document was inspired by https://nohello.net/en/ ↩