curse.erl

#!/usr/bin/env escript
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
% Shakespearian Curse Generator -- Based on lists compiled by Jerry Maguire, %
%     English teacher at Center Grove High School in Greenwood, Indiana.     %
% Public domain implementations by Trevor Stone http://trevorstone.org/curse %
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

% one-word adjectives
-define(Adjective1, {"artless", "bawdy", "beslubbering", "bootless", "brazen",
"churlish", "cockered", "clouted", "craven", "currish", "dankish",
"dissembling", "distempered", "droning", "errant", "fawning", "fitful",
"fobbing", "froward", "frothy", "gleeking", "gnarling", "goatish",
"gorbellied", "greasy", "grizzled", "haughty", "hideous", "impertinent",
"infectious", "jaded", "jarring", "knavish", "lewd", "loggerheaded", "lumpish",
"mammering", "mangled", "mewling", "paunchy", "peevish", "pernicious",
"prating", "pribbling", "puking", "puny", "purpled", "quailing", "queasy",
"rank", "reeky", "roguish", "roynish", "ruttish", "saucy", "sottish",
"spleeny", "spongy", "surly", "tottering", "unmuzzled", "vacant", "vain",
"venomed", "villainous", "waggish", "wanton", "warped", "wayward", "weedy",
"wenching", "whoreson", "yeasty"}).

% hyphenated adjectives
-define(Adjective2, {"base-court", "bat-fowling", "beef-witted", "beetle-headed",
"boil-brained", "bunched-backed", "clapper-clawed", "clay-brained",
"common-kissing", "crook-pated", "dismal-dreaming", "dizzy-eyed",
"dog-hearted", "dread-bolted", "earth-vexing", "elf-skinned", "empty-hearted",
"evil-eyed", "eye-offending", "fat-kidneyed", "fen-sucked", "flap-mouthed",
"fly-bitten", "folly-fallen", "fool-born", "full-gorged", "guts-griping",
"half-faced", "hasty-witted", "heavy-handed", "hedge-born", "hell-hated",
"horn-mad", "idle-headed", "ill-breeding", "ill-composed", "ill-nurtured",
"iron-witted", "knotty-pated", "lean-witted", "lily-livered", "mad-bread",
"milk-livered", "motley-minded", "muddy-mettled", "onion-eyed", "pale-hearted",
"paper-faced", "pinch-spotted", "plume-plucked", "pottle-deep", "pox-marked",
"raw-boned", "reeling-ripe", "rough-hewn", "rude-growing", "rug-headed",
"rump-fed", "shag-eared", "shard-borne", "sheep-biting", "shrill-gorged",
"spur-galled", "sour-faced", "swag-bellied", "tardy-gaited", "tickle-brained",
"toad-spotted", "unchin-snouted", "weak-hinged", "weather-bitten",
"white-livered"}).

% nouns
-define(Noun, {"apple-john", "baggage", "barnacle", "bladder", "boar-pig",
"bugbear", "bum-bailey", "canker-blossom", "clack-dish", "clotpole", "coxcomb",
"codpiece", "crutch", "cutpurse", "death-token", "dewberry", "dogfish",
"egg-shell", "flap-dragon", "flax-wench", "flirt-gill", "foot-licker",
"fustilarian", "giglet", "gudgeon", "gull-catcher", "haggard", "harpy",
"hedge-pig", "hempseed", "horn-beast", "hugger-mugger", "jack-a-nape",
"jolthead", "lewdster", "lout", "maggot-pie", "malignancy", "malkin",
"malt-worm", "mammet", "manikin", "measle", "minimus", "minnow", "miscreant",
"moldwarp", "mumble-news", "nut-hook", "pantaloon", "pigeon-egg", "pignut",
"puttock", "pumpion", "rabbit-sucker", "rampallion", "ratsbane", "remnant",
"rudesby", "ruffian", "scantling", "scullion", "scut", "skainsmate", "snipe",
"strumpet", "varlot", "vassal", "waterfly", "whey-face", "whipster", "wagtail",
"younker"}).

pick(Words) ->
  element(rand:uniform(tuple_size(Words)), Words).

curse() ->
  io_lib:format("Thou ~s ~s ~s!",
    [pick(?Adjective1), pick(?Adjective2), pick(?Noun)]).

help() ->
  io:format("Usage: ~s [-h] [n] (n is the number of curses you want)~n",
    [escript:script_name()]),
  halt(1).

main(["-h"]) ->
  help();

main([Num]) ->
  % Parse number of curses and print them all
  case string:to_integer(Num) of
    {error, Reason} -> [io:format("Error: ~s~n", [Reason]), help()];
    {N, _} -> [io:format("~s~n", [curse()]) || _ <- lists:seq(1, N)]
  end;

main([]) ->
  % Get number of curses to print as a string
  case io:get_line("Number of curses: ") of
    eof -> [help()];
    {error, Reason} -> [io:format("Error: ~s~n", [Reason]), help()];
    Val -> main([string:trim(Val)])
  end.