curse.exs

#!/usr/bin/env elixir
##############################################################################
# Shakespearian Curse Generator -- Based on lists compiled by Jerry Maguire, #
#     English teacher at Center Grove High School in Greenwood, Indiana.     #
# Public domain implementations by Trevor Stone http://trevorstone.org/curse #
##############################################################################

defmodule Curse do
  # one-word adjectives
  @adjective1 List.to_tuple(~w{artless bawdy beslubbering bootless brazen
    churlish cockered clouted craven currish dankish dissembling distempered
    droning errant fawning fitful fobbing froward frothy gleeking gnarling
    goatish gorbellied greasy grizzled haughty hideous impertinent infectious
    jaded jarring knavish lewd loggerheaded lumpish mammering mangled mewling
    paunchy peevish pernicious prating pribbling puking puny purpled quailing
    queasy rank reeky roguish roynish ruttish saucy sottish spleeny spongy
    surly tottering unmuzzled vacant vain venomed villainous waggish wanton
    warped wayward weedy wenching whoreson yeasty})

  # hyphenated adjectives
  @adjective2 List.to_tuple(~w{base-court bat-fowling beef-witted beetle-headed
    boil-brained bunched-backed clapper-clawed clay-brained common-kissing
    crook-pated dismal-dreaming dizzy-eyed dog-hearted dread-bolted
    earth-vexing elf-skinned empty-hearted evil-eyed eye-offending fat-kidneyed
    fen-sucked flap-mouthed fly-bitten folly-fallen fool-born full-gorged
    guts-griping half-faced hasty-witted heavy-handed hedge-born hell-hated
    horn-mad idle-headed ill-breeding ill-composed ill-nurtured iron-witted
    knotty-pated lean-witted lily-livered mad-bread milk-livered motley-minded
    muddy-mettled onion-eyed pale-hearted paper-faced pinch-spotted
    plume-plucked pottle-deep pox-marked raw-boned reeling-ripe rough-hewn
    rude-growing rug-headed rump-fed shag-eared shard-borne sheep-biting
    shrill-gorged spur-galled sour-faced swag-bellied tardy-gaited
    tickle-brained toad-spotted unchin-snouted weak-hinged weather-bitten
    white-livered})

  # nouns
  @noun List.to_tuple(~w{apple-john baggage barnacle bladder boar-pig bugbear
    bum-bailey canker-blossom clack-dish clotpole coxcomb codpiece crutch
    cutpurse death-token dewberry dogfish egg-shell flap-dragon flax-wench
    flirt-gill foot-licker fustilarian giglet gudgeon gull-catcher haggard
    harpy hedge-pig hempseed horn-beast hugger-mugger jack-a-nape jolthead
    lewdster lout maggot-pie malignancy malkin malt-worm mammet manikin measle
    minimus minnow miscreant moldwarp mumble-news nut-hook pantaloon pigeon-egg
    pignut puttock pumpion rabbit-sucker rampallion ratsbane remnant rudesby
    ruffian scantling scullion scut skainsmate snipe strumpet varlot vassal
    waterfly whey-face whipster wagtail younker})

  def curse() do
    "Thou #{pick(@adjective1)} #{pick(@adjective2)} #{pick(@noun)}!"
  end

  defp pick(words) do
    elem(words, Enum.random(1..tuple_size(words)) - 1)
  end
end

help = fn ->
  IO.puts("Usage: #{:escript.script_name()} [-h] [n] (n is the number of curses you want)")
  System.halt(1)
end

# Get number of curses to print as a string
num =
  case System.argv() do
    [] -> IO.gets("Number of curses: ")
    ["-h" | _] -> help.()
    [n | _] -> n
    _ -> help.()
  end

# Print them all
case Integer.parse(num) do
  {n, _} when n > 0 -> for _ <- 1..n, do: IO.puts(Curse.curse())
  _ -> (IO.puts("Must be positive number: #{num}"); help.())
end