diff --git a/code/obj/machinery/metal_scanner.dm b/code/obj/machinery/metal_scanner.dm
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..6cf82939
--- /dev/null
+++ b/code/obj/machinery/metal_scanner.dm
@@ -0,0 +1,261 @@
+/obj/machinery/secscanner
+	name = "security scanner"
+	desc = "The latest innovation in invasive imagery, the programmable NT-X100 will scan anyone who walks through it with fans to simulate being patted down. <em>Nanotrasen is not to be held responsible for any deaths caused by the results the machine gives, or the machine itself.</em>"
+	icon = 'icons/obj/machines/scanner.dmi'
+	icon_state = "scanner_on"
+	density = 0
+	opacity = 0
+	anchored = 1
+	layer = 2
+	mats = 18
+	appearance_flags = TILE_BOUND
+	var/timeBetweenUses = 20//I can see this being fun
+	var/success_sound = "sound/machines/chime.ogg"
+	var/fail_sound = 'sound/machines/alarm_a.ogg'
+
+	var/weapon_access = access_carrypermit
+	var/report_scans = 1
+	var/check_records = 1
+
+	var/last_perp = 0
+	var/last_contraband = 0
+	//var/area/area = 0
+
+	Crossed( atom/movable/O )
+		if(isliving(O))
+			do_scan(O)
+		if (istype(O,/obj/item) && (!emagged))
+			do_scan_item(O)
+		return ..()
+	process()
+		.=..()
+		if (status & NOPOWER)
+			icon_state = "scanner_off"
+		else
+			icon_state = "scanner_on"
+
+	disposing()
+		radio_controller.remove_object(src, "1149")
+		..()
+        
+    attackby(obj/item/W as obj, mob/user as mob) //If we get emagged...
+		if (istype(W, /obj/item/weapon/card/emag) && (!emagged))
+            src.add_fingerprint(user)
+            emagged++ 
+            W.show_text( "You 're-purpose' the [src].", "red" )
+        ..()
+
+	proc/do_scan_item (var/obj/item/I)
+		if( icon_state != "scanner_on" )
+			return
+		src.use_power(15)
+		var/contraband = I.contraband                
+
+		if (contraband >= 2)
+
+			playsound( src.loc, fail_sound, 10, 0 )
+			icon_state = "scanner_red"
+			src.use_power(15)
+
+			//////PDA NOTIFY/////
+			if (src.report_scans && (I.name != last_perp || contraband != last_contraband))
+				var/scan_location = get_area(src)
+
+				var/datum/radio_frequency/transmit_connection = radio_controller.return_frequency("1149")
+				var/datum/signal/pdaSignal = get_free_signal()
+				pdaSignal.data = list("address_1"="00000000", "command"="text_message", "sender_name"="SECURITY-MAILBOT",  "group"="security", "sender"="00000000", "message"="Notification: An item [I.name] failed checkpoint scan at [scan_location]! Threat Level : [contraband]")
+				pdaSignal.transmission_method = TRANSMISSION_RADIO
+				if(transmit_connection != null)
+					transmit_connection.post_signal(src, pdaSignal)
+
+				last_perp = I.name
+				last_contraband = contraband
+
+			SPAWN_DBG(timeBetweenUses)
+				icon_state = "scanner_on"
+
+
+
+    
+	proc/do_scan( var/mob/target )
+		if( icon_state != "scanner_on" )
+			return
+		src.use_power(15)
+        if (src.emagged) //if emagged, instead of properly doing our job as a scanner perform a completely arbitrary vibe check
+
+            if(prob(20)) //vibe check FAILED >:((((
+                playsound(src.loc, emag_fail_sound, 10, 1)
+                icon_state = "scanner_red"
+                target.show_text( "You feel [pick("unfortunate", "bad", "like your fate has been sealed", "anxious", "scared", "overwhelmed")].", "red" )
+                if (ishuman(target))
+					var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = target
+					var/perpname = H.name
+                    src.use_power(15)
+                    src.speak("[perpname.toUpperCase()] HAS FAILED THE VIBE CHECK! BAD VIBES! BAD VIBES!!")
+                
+                //////PDA NOTIFY/////
+                if (src.report_scans)
+                    var/scan_location = get_area(src)
+
+                    if (ishuman(target))
+                        var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = target
+                        var/perpname = H.name
+                        if (H:wear_id && H:wear_id:registered)
+                            perpname = H.wear_id:registered
+
+                        if (perpname != last_perp || contraband != last_contraband)
+                            var/datum/radio_frequency/transmit_connection = radio_controller.return_frequency("1149")
+                            var/datum/signal/pdaSignal = get_free_signal()
+                            pdaSignal.data = list("address_1"="00000000", "command"="text_message", "sender_name"="SECURITY-MAILBOT",  "group"="security", "sender"="00000000", "message"="NOTIFICATION: [perpname.toUpperCase()] FAILED A VIBE CHECK AT [scan_location.toUpperCase()]! BAD VIBES LEVEL : [contraband]")
+                            pdaSignal.transmission_method = TRANSMISSION_RADIO
+                            if(transmit_connection != null)
+                                transmit_connection.post_signal(src, pdaSignal)
+
+                        last_perp = perpname
+                        last_contraband = contraband
+                
+                
+
+                
+            
+            else  //Vibe check passed everything is good :)))
+                target.show_text( "You feel [pick("good", "like you dodged a bullet", "lucky", "clean", "safe", "accepted")].", "blue" )
+                playsound(src.loc, success_sound, 10, 1)
+                icon_state = "scanner_green"
+            
+            SPAWN_DBG(timeBetweenUses)
+                    icon_state = "scanner_on"
+            
+            return //no, we're a vibe checker not a security device. our work is done
+
+		target.show_text( "You feel [pick("funny", "wrong", "confused", "dangerous", "sickly", "puzzled", "happy")].", "blue" )
+
+		var/contraband = assess_perp(target)
+		contraband = min(contraband,10)
+
+		if (contraband >= 4)
+			contraband = round(contraband)
+
+			playsound( src.loc, fail_sound, 10, 0 )
+			icon_state = "scanner_red"
+			src.use_power(15)
+
+			//////PDA NOTIFY/////
+			if (src.report_scans)
+				var/scan_location = get_area(src)
+
+				if (ishuman(target))
+					var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = target
+					var/perpname = H.name
+					if (H:wear_id && H:wear_id:registered)
+						perpname = H.wear_id:registered
+
+					if (perpname != last_perp || contraband != last_contraband)
+						var/datum/radio_frequency/transmit_connection = radio_controller.return_frequency("1149")
+						var/datum/signal/pdaSignal = get_free_signal()
+						pdaSignal.data = list("address_1"="00000000", "command"="text_message", "sender_name"="SECURITY-MAILBOT",  "group"="security", "sender"="00000000", "message"="Notification: [perpname] failed checkpoint scan at [scan_location]! Threat Level : [contraband]")
+						pdaSignal.transmission_method = TRANSMISSION_RADIO
+						if(transmit_connection != null)
+							transmit_connection.post_signal(src, pdaSignal)
+
+					last_perp = perpname
+					last_contraband = contraband
+
+		else
+			playsound(src.loc, success_sound, 10, 1)
+			icon_state = "scanner_green"
+
+		SPAWN_DBG(timeBetweenUses)
+			icon_state = "scanner_on"
+
+	//lol, sort of copied from secbot.dm
+	proc/assess_perp(mob/target as mob)
+		var/threatcount = 0
+
+		if(src.emagged)
+            return rand(99,2000) //very high-end bad vibes level assessor
+
+		if (!ishuman(target))
+			if (istype(target, /mob/living/critter/changeling))
+				return 6
+			for( var/obj/item/item in target.contents )
+				threatcount += item.contraband
+			return threatcount
+
+		var/mob/living/carbon/human/perp = target
+
+		if (perp.mutantrace)
+			if (istype(perp.mutantrace, /datum/mutantrace/abomination))
+				threatcount += 8
+			else if (istype(perp.mutantrace, /datum/mutantrace/zombie))
+				threatcount += 6
+			else if (istype(perp.mutantrace, /datum/mutantrace/werewolf) || istype(perp.mutantrace, /datum/mutantrace/hunter))
+				threatcount += 4
+			else if (istype(perp.mutantrace, /datum/mutantrace/cat))
+				threatcount += 3
+			else
+				threatcount += 2
+
+		//if((isnull(perp:wear_id)) || (istype(perp:wear_id, /obj/item/card/id/syndicate)))
+		var/obj/item/card/id/perp_id = perp.equipped()
+		if (!istype(perp_id))
+			perp_id = perp.wear_id
+
+		if(perp_id && (weapon_access in perp_id.access)) //Corrupt cops cannot exist, beep boop
+			return 0
+
+		if (istype(perp.l_hand))
+			threatcount += perp.l_hand.contraband
+
+		if (istype(perp.r_hand))
+			threatcount += perp.r_hand.contraband
+
+		if (istype(perp:wear_suit))
+			threatcount += perp:wear_suit.contraband
+
+		if (istype(perp:belt))
+			threatcount += perp:belt.contraband * 0.5
+			for( var/obj/item/item in perp:belt.contents )
+				threatcount += item.contraband * 0.5
+
+		if (istype(perp:l_store))
+			threatcount += perp:l_store.contraband * 0.5
+
+		if (istype(perp:r_store))
+			threatcount += perp:r_store.contraband * 0.5
+
+		if (istype(perp:back))
+			for( var/obj/item/item in perp:back.contents )
+				threatcount += item.contraband * 0.5
+
+//Agent cards lower threatlevel when normal idchecking is off.
+		if((istype(perp:wear_id, /obj/item/card/id/syndicate)))
+			threatcount -= 2
+
+		if (src.check_records)
+			for (var/datum/data/record/E in data_core.general)
+				var/perpname = perp.name
+				if (perp:wear_id && perp:wear_id:registered)
+					perpname = perp.wear_id:registered
+				if (E.fields["name"] == perpname)
+					for (var/datum/data/record/R in data_core.security)
+						if ((R.fields["id"] == E.fields["id"]) && (R.fields["criminal"] == "*Arrest*"))
+							threatcount = max(4,threatcount)
+							break
+				LAGCHECK(LAG_REALTIME)
+
+		return threatcount
+
+	ex_act(severity)
+		switch (severity)
+			if (1)
+				qdel(src)
+			if (2,3)
+				if(!prob(60 + severity*10))
+					qdel(src)
+
+/obj/machinery/fakesecscanner
+	name = "security scanner"
+	desc = "The latest innovation in invasive imagery, the programmable NT-X100 will scan anyone who walks through it with fans to simulate being patted down. <em>Nanotrasen is not to be held responsible for any deaths caused by the results the machine gives, or the machine itself. ... Is this one even working properly?</em>"
+	icon = 'icons/obj/machines/scanner.dmi'
+	icon_state = "scanner_on"
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/sound/machines/emag_fail_sound.ogg b/sound/machines/emag_fail_sound.ogg
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..f49439ff
Binary files /dev/null and b/sound/machines/emag_fail_sound.ogg differ