revise greatest show #16
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Check inline comments. Some parts are unclear what is meant by certain phrases.
JJ
requested changes
Apr 3, 2017
| happy to get rid of second-rate citizens, or so it seemed. | ||
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| That was apparently not enough to restore the broken railway links | ||
| between the Republic and the US. Beyond Mobile, the railroad was blown | ||
| up to, at least, Red Bluff. So the easiest way to go from here to | ||
| up to, at least in Red Bluff. So the easiest way to go from here to |
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Can you revise this? without the "at least", it reads blown up to Red Bluff
| of elephant dung, but if you put lions and horses and bearded women | ||
| and whatnots inside a steamer they're gonna get mighty nervous, I tell | ||
| ya. So no way Noah would have made it for forty days. Unless he got him a | ||
| circus manager like we did. Friend of saying platitudes, but a good organizer | ||
| circus manager like we did. Fond of saying platitudes, but a good organizer |
| all the same. | ||
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| Yes, I would have preferred an airship. The circus comisario was on its | ||
| way to New Orleans already. But, pray tell, how the fuck do you expect | ||
| to put an elephant in an airship? You did it once? Really? Why didn't | ||
| you stick a couple of wings and a rocket up its butt and made it fly? | ||
| No way, man, absolutely no way you could put the thirty-odd carriages | ||
| in airships, you would have needed so many of them. Yes, you love | ||
| in an airship, you would have needed many of them. Yes, you love |
| This was my first chance to actually drive the mech. Aw, man, we are | ||
| calling it a hoborg, but just from a couple of nights ago! Just let me | ||
| This was my first chance to actually drive the mech. Aw, man, we were | ||
| calling it a hoborg just a couple of nights ago! Just let me |
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This was kind of the answer to someone telling him "it's a hoborg", and answering, right, but it's a recent name...
| it for the first time. | ||
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| No, it does not even come close to driving a horse and I ain't never | ||
| piloted a car. It's a metal box with a wheel and several levers and | ||
| knobs. I was told to never get farther than a dozen feet from from it, | ||
| knobs. I was told to never get farther than a dozen feet from from it, /* not get a dozen feet from it? unclear what is meant*/ |
| this wheel for turning, this lever forward, this knob to make it | ||
| faster. Grease gave it to me, and I swear it turned its teakettle head | ||
| to look at me. Yes, it does that. It's not only levers and knobs and | ||
| whatnots. I still don't know what half the driving box does, but I do | ||
| know that the fucking mech has a mind of its own. No soul, Blackie, no | ||
| soul, man. No man's got a soul, nobody. It's humbug the American | ||
| capitalistas have been feeding you. So how come a fucking mechanical | ||
| contraption have a soul if not even you have it! But, boy, does it | ||
| contraption can have a soul if not even you have it! But, boy, does it |
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how come it have a soul, is what I was aiming for here. "Come" is colloquial for "can"
| was just a bit cranky. Who knows. He could not have gone there, | ||
| anyways, because the space was taken by a bulk covered with a | ||
| was just a bit cranky. Who knows. He couldn't have gone there, | ||
| anyways, because the space was taken by some crates covered with a |
| tarp. Nothing related with the circus, it should have been there | ||
| before us, because the tarp had a different color, ours were green, | ||
| this one was tan. | ||
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| I didn't have the time to stay around to watch it any more because the | ||
| Boris the circus manager grabbed me again and had me doing Chinese, putting | ||
| Boris the circus manager grabbed me again and had me doing Chinese, putting /*doing chinese? what is meant here? translating?*/ |
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Circus lingo: http://www.csmonitor.com/1988/1129/hcirc.html
| things in cabins, covering the carriages with tarpaulins and hauling | ||
| supplies belowdecks. Which is a nice word that somebody shouted while | ||
| we were doing there and means in the basement of the ship. | ||
| supplies belowdeck. Which is a nice word that somebody shouted while |
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Belowdecks is correct https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/belowdecks
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Check inline comments. Some parts are unclear what is meant by certain phrases.