ROCm TPL builds on TOSS4 Cray systems + general TPL update

[chapman39]

• fixes build tpls and test ci on tuo #1472

• go thru external packages and determine proper versions for tuo
• upgrade from rocm 6.2.1 -> 6.4.2 (llvm 19)
• update mfem (for lido)
• update mfem and axom to use cpp17
• restrict hypre version and build with +cuda/ +rocm
  • fixes Update Hypre and enable CUDA #885
  • fixes Build hypre with GPU support #1296
  • fixes Remove hypre version restriction #1411
• update enzyme package in spack Make llvm path consistent between llvm and llvm-amdgpu in enzyme pkg spack/spack-packages#2365
• update mfem package in spack update mfem to handle hypre 2.29.0 +rocm spack/spack-packages#2363
• update axom package in spack/ axom add certain hip link flags whether or not fortran axom#1710
• build tpls
  • dane
  • tuo
  • rzwhippet
  • rzadams
  • docker https://github.com/LLNL/smith/actions/runs/19645768155
• switch to from tioga to tuo
• add hip support to using-with-cmake example

related prs

• Spack 1.0.2, TPL v2025.09.0 updates, and more axom#1673

to do before merge

• remove broken _enzyme toss4_cray host configs

next steps

• update smith -> lido
• re-enable enzyme on toss4_cray
• investigate longer test times on tuo

[codecov-commenter]

Codecov Report

✅ All modified and coverable lines are covered by tests.
✅ Project coverage is 92.38%. Comparing base (bd1e84f) to head (18cba34).

Additional details and impacted files

@@           Coverage Diff            @@
##           develop    #1477   +/-   ##
========================================
  Coverage    92.38%   92.38%           
========================================
  Files          200      200           
  Lines        22296    22296           
========================================
  Hits         20599    20599           
  Misses        1697     1697           

Flag	Coverage Δ
unittests	92.38% <ø> (ø)

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[btalamini]

looks good, as far as I can tell. Thanks for working through diligently!