fix(federation): Fix retrying to send OCM notifications with a proper scaling background job

[nickvergessen]

🛠️ API Checklist

• Replaces fix(federation): Migrate to IJob::start() to invoke the max retries a… #11778

🩹 Patch

To "break" federation, add

throw new OCMProviderException('breaking');

as first line in
https://github.com/nextcloud/server/blob/ecb111cec74d96ed66e0880bef093d1156afa256/lib/private/Federation/CloudFederationProviderManager.php#L222-L224

🚧 Tasks

• Fix retry delay so that we cover a longer time frame (72h at least)
• Make sure we can retry messages that are longer than 4k chars
• Delete retry jobs when the receiver does not know the conversation
• Delete federated participants when the receiver does not know the conversation after receiving a OCM notification
  • Delete outgoing invites when the receiver does not know the conversation
• Delete retry job when the receiver was removed from the room
• Delete retry job when the receiver left the room

🏁 Checklist

• ⛑️ Tests (unit and/or integration) are included or not possible
• 📘 API documentation in docs/ has been updated or is not required
• 🔖 Capability is added or not needed